Global warming is a phenomenon where the whole average temperature of earth’s surface air and ocean is increasing. Without realising it, this devilish evil has devoured the earth bit by bit stealthily and steadily. The chief culprit, very ironical and undeniable, is human kind. Rapid industrialisation and urbanisation have caused the carbon dioxide emission level to rise almost exponentially over last decade which in turn brings rises in global temperature along with it. (An Inconvenient Truth 2007) This phenomenon has caused the global warming that summons destructive power to the earth causing the living creatures in troposphere to suffer.
The most significant impact brought by the global warming is climate change where in turn brings many chain consequences to the earth. One of it is heat wave. During the year of 2003, estimated 35000 was killed in Europe due to massive heat wave and the highest temperature achieved in India was 50oC. In the same time, heat wave also causes more frequent and destructive windstorm and hurricane to happen even at the place that not possible for hurricane to strike. Such thing happen in Brazil and a strong hurricane, Katrina happen in Florida had cost the lost of billions. (An Inconvenient Truth 2007) Climate change will also alter the suitability for food plantation in certain area. As a consequence, the people in the poor country like Africa will have to suffer from starvation as their land is predicted to be inhabitable for plantation when climate change happens. (Chris Woodford 2006)
Sea-level rise is one of the major impacts of global warming. The global warning causes the oceans warm up. Water expands as it warms and takes more volume, making the level of the seas to rise. More than that, the melting of glaciers and ice sheets in North Pole and South Pole will also contribute to the rising sea level. The consequences are that those low lying countries will be flooded with water, making billion of people to be homeless. (Chris Woodford 2006) The cities more likely will be affected are New York, Calcutta, Beijing and Shanghai which will be washed in sea water while Netherland will be demolished entirely as a consequences of melting of entire Greenland and predicted amount of 100-200 million will be homeless. (An Inconvenient Truth 2007)
Besides that, the climate change caused by the global warming also contributes to species extinction. Rapid change in climate causing the living thing cannot adapt such change in short term and finally meet their annihilation. Migratory birds will lose their breeding habitat when significant climate change happens and ultimately faces extinction. The ecosystem around the coral beef may also affected with the death of coral beef due to rising temperature, causing species relying on it to be vanished. Caribou also a victim in climate change because their tundra habitats are now decreasing. Same thing also applies to other living creatures. (Chris Woodford 2006)
Apart from that, pests and diseases are predicted to spread much further during the global warming. Mosquitoes as vector breed faster in warmer climates, spreading infectious diseases like malaria and dengue to more people. (Chris Woodford 2006) More than that, many outbreak of other diseases will also happen such as SARS, Lyme Diseases, Legionaries and so on by others warm climate-favoured vectors. (An Inconvenient Truth 2007)
In order to solve this problem from getting worse, initiative and prompt action should be implemented immediately. This mainly relies on the products we consume every day and determination to solve it is much needed. To reduce the carbon dioxide emission which is a main cause of global warming, we should use energy efficiently, fully utilised the renewable technology, increase the use of public transportation and changing of political view to environmental friendly. More than that, all the cities in the world should join the Kyoto Protocol together to fight against this monstrous demon that destructs the earth. With all these being implemented, at least the carbon emission level can turn to as in the year of 1970 which is considered to be less harmful than it is continue increasing exponentially. (An Inconvenient Truth 2007)
As a conclusion, global warming does pose a lot of problems to the earth. Human ourselves in the end will have to bear the cost of uncontrolled and profit-orientated rapid development. Hence, it is our responsibility to take prompt action to solve this problem that jeopardising all the living creatures on the surface of the earth.
I think the 2nd last paragraph, not solve, prevent is better choice for me..My opinion only...Overall well organised and i also learn a lot of vocab here..keke
ReplyDelete1. Is there a clear introductory sentence that introduces the subject matter and the controlling idea? What do you suggest for improvement if the introductory sentence is not clear?
ReplyDeleteYes, the sentences discuss about the definition of global warming and the cause of global warming which linked to each other well. The controlling idea can be seen clearly and this enables the readers to understand the controlling idea of this article well. My suggestion is you can include the statistic of increase of the Earth temperature into your introduction. This helps to emphasize the controlling idea by showing how serious is the issue now.
2. Is there a thesis statement given as the last sentence of the introductory paragraph? Is it clear and connected to all the topic sentences of the body paragraphs?
Yes, the thesis statement clearly points out the controlling idea which links to the introductory sentences.
3. Do the paragraphs have sufficient supporting details and examples? How can the organization be improved?
Yes, supporting details and examples are given in the paragraph. The explanations of the effects are included in the paragraph with appropriate examples. In my opinion, I think that the first paragraph are not well organised and the sentences are not linked well. I suggest that you can point out the possible effects in your introductory sentences rather than mentioning them without any sign in your paragraph. Besides, the first paragraph is too long as compared to the second and third paragraph. This makes the content to be imbalance in aspect of structure which I think you should rearrange the ways of presenting your answer. I suggest that you can separate the content by splitting the effects into two groups which are impact on the human and impact on other organism. This will clearly show the effects which enable reader to have a better image and understanding on the effect of global warming.
4. Are there any paragraphs which are not supported well?
No, each paragraph is supported well with appropriate details.
5. Are there any sentences or sections that are not clear? If so, how can they be improved?
Overall all sentences are clear and described well. However there are some sections which is not velar enough. On the first paragraph, the sentence “without realising it, this devilish evil has devoured the earth bit by bit stealthily and steadily.” is quite blurring. What you mean by stealthily and steady? I think you should explain it a little bit. In fifth paragraph, you mention that carbon dioxide emission can be reduced by using energy efficiently, fully utilised the renewable technology, increase the use of public transportation and changing of political view to environmental friendly. This section is quite empty in term of content. I think examples of practical ways should be mentioned after the sentences to provide a better image to the reader.
6. Does the conclusion summarize all the main points given in the essay or restate the thesis statement? Is it clear? If not, how can the writer improve this part?
ReplyDeleteThe conclusion is quite short and it seems like you are rushing of time and finished it hastily. The conclusion is just too simple without restating the thesis statement or summarizing the main points. The sentence “As a conclusion, global warming does pose a lot of problems to the earth” is too general. It does not explain the specific problems faced by the earth. I think you should reconsider your conclusion.
7. Does the writer cite the sources adequately and appropriately? Note any incorrect citation.
The sources are not cited adequately and appropriately. In first paragraph, definition of global warming is not cited. In second paragraph, citation mentioned covers too wide on the content. One or two more citations should be included for the sentences to note clearly the sources used. While for third paragraph, fourth paragraph and fifth paragraph, one more citation should be made in the upper part of the content to make reader more clearly about the sources.
8. Are there any apparent grammatical or spelling mistakes?
There is just one grammatical mistake. In second paragraph, ’estimated 35000 was killed’ should be ‘estimated 35000 were killed’.
9. Does the writer comprehensively cover appropriate materials available from the standard sources? If no, what is missing?
Yes, the text covers almost everything from the sources provided.
10. Additional comments:
Overall, this text is good and the content is relevant. Kudos should be given for your effort. Hope to see more excellent text from you in the future!!!!!